I know it's wrong.

I know it's wrong to force yourself to do things. to force emotions on to yourself but when you notice that it actually works, it cant help much. i mean, yes, you feel good for a few layers and everyone else is happy and you have tons of fun. but when you go home, and you're alone you feel blank and hallow. i hate feeling blank when all i want to do it feel something. i hate crying when you dont know why you're crying. i hate when people talk to me when i'm in the shower. i mean thats a private area. could you wait 10 minutes please?

change.

i wish i could see what they were thinking. i want to figure out what caused that tick. because you meet and see tons of people and you never know. and people you thought you knew are so different because our species like too appear strong. when you meet someone you judge them and alot of the time that judgment changes and you realize something about that person. i dont know exactly how to put this. but how can one small thing change so many things.....i wish i knew how to talk to the world and hear back from them. i miss them.

avatar.

avatar. it is such an amazxing movie and for some disgusting reason i feel insanely attached to this movie unlike any other. i wish that could be an avatar and feel the connection to everything thrive around myself, unlike now look at crowds lost and alone. can the nature keep me company? they seem to be nicer than the people.

Happiness

What makes you truely happy. what laces your face in to a smile that wont fall done. wouldnt you love to be around that things for as long as possible so you wouldnt lose that happy feeling that floats in the air. I think its good to surround yourself with people that make you happy and are there for you and will help you, not to be around those which do the oppisite. its weird what little actions effect large paths in our life time just keep remember be happy and keep moving on because happiness doesnt last forever, forever doesnt even last forever, but to stay happy as long as possible, nothing much you can do in this world anyways, were all going down hill either way so might as well enjoy the ride.

who told you

single words or saying seem to injure people in odd ways. ive notice how easily words can be misunderstood and cause more problems than what was mean to be. people cant be truely selfish can they? everything has a creator everything has a reason why it is the way it is..thats how i see it atleast. you are who you are because Genes+Environment=person&personality life can be simple math if you want it to You=Love+hope+dreams+hate+challenge+reality thats how it all seems to play out simple and easy if you can see it like that.

open.

i think that people are so much deeper than what there surface skin puts out their plastic-ness is drowning out the world. i want to see a place where everyone is open and isn't afraid to be vulnerable. emotions traveling across faces with no wait time or after shock of misheard means. i want to see people to smile with whole hearted happiness and to stop those fake smiles for escape the lips. i need to know that everyone is the same people deep down with miner variations to tell, you don't want to grow to an irreversible age and no longer be full with your self something like wont get you far. i see people around me constantly i just want to know whats going on, no one seems to tell and they like to keep it private and not like i want to keep it in like them or sometimes wish to be plastic, but i cant. im not.

Angels

im scared. and am feeling well fucked up im letting moods control me and not letting me control them. i dont like this im seeming to hurt those close to me and i dont want to do that. also saw a commerical for 1212 the movie. im scared as fuck. i dont want the world to end no no no no im too scared. liiike yeah doesnt that scare other people? fate, that seems to scares me the most and its the thing no one can save you from and it just makes m-...i dont know whatever. everything will be okay, right? please say it will.

ocean drowning pull
olds ways must return
like ocean currents returning from far away lands.